Carlos Queiroz’s second stint at United ended yesterday officially as he took up the top job as Portugal’s coach.

It remains to be seen, however, if United are looking to get a replacement manager from abroad or just looking to promote personnel from within the club’s coaching hierarchy. So let’s spend a little while talking on who you think to be ideally suited to the assistant manager job.

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Amidst the supposed gloom and transfer kerfuffle, Manchester United, as if like an afterthought, return to playing action against Aberdeen tomorrow.

So much has one man taken the wind out of any success or pre-season, that so little is being talked about our forthcoming clash against a side with a rich history.

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I don’t want to write another tiresome article on Ronaldo. But the lad seems to have a knack of staying in the news.

I’ll keep it short to save you the trouble. For the others, I’d recommend poring over the comments from yesterday, if you want to see people displaying hurt sentiments.

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Not very long ago I mentioned something about the UEFA president losing his mind. Yesterday it was the turn of the FIFA president; true to type, he didn’t disappoint.

This is what the great man had to say, read on:

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… and pigs flying? Too many questions. So little time. Well there is plenty of time but, you see, I have to run off on an errand or two after this so I’ll get right into this straight away without much waffling.

There have been stories that Darren Fletcher has caught David Moyes’ fancy. I think Fletcher should not move because players like him is the reason why we are where we are.

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This was written several hours before the time indicated against the article so there is a chance that one of my questions could already have been answered by the time you are reading this. So bear with me.

Let’s play a game folks. It’s not a game really, but still, humour me on this one. Not much has happened in the transfer front and many fans have developed an acute illness borne out of furiously refreshing Newsnow, clicking through to headlines that scream out “EXCLUSIVE: Huntelaar signs for United” or “United sign next Pele” or “Kaka declares love for United (after declaring his love for Jesus for the 12567th time)”; the chief perpetrators of such behaviour being sites like Tribal Football, Sportingo, Caught Offside, The Sun and plenty of blogs looking to generate quick cash with misleading headlines. [I may have been guilty from time to time, but then I am really too lazy to be arsed to think of catchy headlines or perhaps, I just don't have the creative spark in me.]

Moving on… here’s the ‘game’.

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… than the away kit (which was a horror show, to be honest).

Anyway here are the pics, after the fold.

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J. R. R. Tolkien was a great dreamer. Which was perhaps why the Lord of the Rings was a rather good fantasy novel. It had all those elements one would ask for in a well written fantasy: the good, pure evil, adventure, perils, the good getting lured by the evil.

So forgive me if I spend the next few lines drawing tedious references to that masterpiece.

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Three days have passed since the Euros got over. We haven’t signed anyone. Doom, gloom and hearts stopping left, right and centre. People are dying. Wayne Rooney is partying in Vegas with his newly married wife with the likes of Le Bron James in tow. Fergie’s giving interviews over a game of golf. Ronaldo is off to Sardinia with his bird. Queiroz is being linked to the Portugal job.

We are dead. That is all. End of the world. We’d be lucky to survive in the Premiership. So let’s talk about all that is left to talk about: the captaincy debate. [Doesn't it worry you that, that is the only topic left to be discussed with more than a month to go before the season begins?]

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Sir Alex returned to Old Trafford and regular work as he spoke to the press. He said that whilst he’d be looking to start actively scouring the transfer market, he would really be looking to buy one or two players at the most.

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