Jul 29
How to Buy a Player From Spurs: A Primer
1. Employ a Spanish waiter to go to the podium and scream at the top of his voice that he’s interested to sign one of their players — preferably under the glare of Sky, BBC, ITV or whoever is interested.
2. Wait for their Chairman to go mental and report your club for ‘tapping up’ / ‘improper conduct’ or whatever sophisticated jargon the Cambridge educated bloke may choose to word his accusation with.
3. Apologise and admit that the comments made by the manager (or Spanish waiter, however applicable) was inappropriate and make a donation to the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation.
4. Throw some money and sign the player.
Spurs fans, nothing personal: the proof is in the pudding.
We can’t do the same though, because Fergie has denied making an open statement about Berbatov. Bah!
Related items from Red Rants:
- Ferguson Speaks as he Returns to Old Trafford
- Don’t Hate Daniel Levy
- Preview: Reds vs Spurs
- Nani Controversy Helps United To Victory Over Tottenham
- Win A Free Scarf from Savile Rogue
Tags: Manchester United News
Craig Mc (195)
RedDevilEddy (170)
Opti (135)
Moscow is my heaven (96)
Ian (95)
i agree wityou grog.
Chrissy E undoubtedly has what it takes to play in prem- he jst looked so out of place coz were such special club.
we gotta take the slight gamble on huntelaar i think…..he’l be a hero in no time
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off the off topic
men you just gotta see the rubbish the daily marca has written in goal.com. headline reads ‘Fergie Bombshell: I will leave if ronaldo joins madrid’.that is the shitiest story ive read. God would somebody bomb those marca shithead’s offices. hell osama should pay them a visit
and to tottenham fans, just suck it up. Football is a dirty game of money and players. am sure levy is happy with the deal and ramos will get a new striker
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@realred: Too true. Honestly I just don’t get why others including Fergie can’t see that Huntelaar is a much smarter option who will actually add that diversity that Fergie keeps talking about. People say we weren’t as good with RVN. True, we weren’t, but that was no fault in RVN. Our supporting cast was not as good as the bunch we have now. To add an RVN type player like Huntelaar would make us dynamic for sure. Still, I am a Berbatov admirer but his age does turn me off a bit. And like I said earlier, I don’t even want to contemplate Henry. That thought is similar to a terrible nightmare where you wake up in a cold sweat. To quote Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now, “The horror…..the horror”. If those out there think I have been a miserable old bastard regarding Ronaldo, they haven’t seen anything yet. Just sign Henry and you will see that Hell hath no fury like a Grognard betrayed.
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United are offering 20 million and Levy is asking 38 million but has offered to sell for less to other teams. Is that legal?
Yes it is. We sold Heinze to Madrid when Liverpool would have offered the same or even more. They are the seller and they can choose to sell to whoever they want even if it was for less.
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Good luck to Chris, but I think he was a failiure. He is good enough to play for teams like Fulham, West Brom, Hull, Stoke, West Ham, Bolton or Boro, but he wants first team football, a starting position in most games, and I think only Burnley could promise that to him.
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@Grognard: No Liverpool player in your 5 most hated player list?
Off the top of my head I can see Steven Gerrard in that list, especially considering he made his “United hater” thing public in his book.
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I thought JimB’s reply was fairly measured considering he’s a Spurs fan.
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@Red Ranter: Can we have a post to see how and what our first team line up will be when we get Berba? i mean where will we get Tevez?
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I can’t guarantee that but feel free to discuss it here.
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@Red Ranter: Alright! What is this nonsense on Goal.com? They are saying that Marca has reported Fergie to be saying “If Ronaldo goes, Then I GO!” It is a whole load of shit! Oh! But good news though! Totthenam have entered into talks for Bentley! Here’s hoping that The way for Berba becomes clear Sooner rather than later!
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OK here is a hypothetical situation for spurs fans… what if you woke up tomorrow and found out that your beloved club is reigning champion of Europe, i am not talking about getting in; but winning the whole fucking thing. suddenly it dawns on you that you have also fucked your beloved arsenal 2 and half time last season, and in doing that did a little matter of defending your EPL title(not finish 110th by the way). Now most of you will be willing to kiss a rat’s ass, or have sexual intercourse with a frog if not,… well god forbid. I’ve got news for you, your striker, without having to do any of that will have the same bloody feeling, and will pocket some handy cash in the meantime. So dont moan please, will ya.
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@R…: True! But dont forget! No matter how big an asshole Levy is! He is still an excellent businessman! But people forget that Fergie has been there, done the same thing and is a master in business with an experience of 25 years and more
! Dont worry! We will get him! 
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@Grognard: I don’t understand your hatred for Henry if he signed for us. His a world class player, his proven in the premiership, he can play on the left with Rooney in the centre and Ronaldo on the right, honestly our line up would be PERFECTION! Fuck his Arsenal history, the fact that he would be playing for us would be a massive middle finger to them.
I think the majority of Spurs fans that have flooded this topic acted in a surprisingly good way. The way they are treating the Berbatov issue is like how we would treat the Ronaldo issue if he was being sold, in which we prepared ourselves for it to happen.
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@Red Diablo: When we get Berba? Don’t count your Chickens before they hatch m8, Honestly If Levy is pushing for as much money as he possibly can get from this deal, I don’t think we will see much development in this deal.
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@Hakieran: Dude! When Fergie wants something! HE gets it!
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@Red Ranter: OK I’ll be totally honest. As much as I hate Liverpool as a team I don’t really hate any of their players with a great passion. Steven Gerrard, I think the guy is a hell of a player and I would have loved for him to be a United player 3 or 4 years ago. Seriously, he is everything I would want in an attacking midfielder. Torres I would give my left nut for. And I always liked Michael Owen. Now when it comes to their supporters, Rafa and the city of Liverpool, that’s a different story. Rafa for me is an overrated coward of a coach who can’t stop tinkering because he is overcome with self doubt and no confidence. The fans, well we all know the are the scum of the earth. And although my favorite group of all time, the Beatles may come from Liverpool, the town really has a lot be apologetic for. I suppose we should thank them for Wayne Rooney too.
Now if we go back a few years to the days of Dalglish, McDermott, Souness and Rush etc, then I can really wear my hate banner on my head. Talk about a bunch of boring plodding tossers.
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@Red Diablo: Why are you reading Goal.com? You know better than to believe the garbage that comes out of the mouth of those pratts as well as others like TribalFootball.com and CaughtOffiside.com. Just a bunch of losers that like to make up shot and create theories and publish them as news. Don’t bother with their nonsense.
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@Red Ranter: But Red Ranter do you think Berbatov would accept terms with any other club? I guess even if the club wanted to sell to another club, the deal would go through only if the player accepted personal terms.. I’m not sure so please enlighten me on this..
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@Grognard: Hey as you can see in my comments I said that it was crap! Anyway i got to be going its 2:48 AM here is Lahore, Pak!
Hopefully when i wakeup the headlines will be!”SPURS FINALLY HAND BERBA TO UNITED”! Here’s hoping!
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@Krishnan: Yes, the player would have to accept personal term then again, he ultimately wants champions’ league football and if United and Tottenham keep playing hide and seek, Berbatov might be forced to think about moving elsewhere. That’s assuming another club comes in for him.
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@Hakieran: You can’t understand my hatred for Henry? RR can’t understand why no Liverpool players are in my top 5 most hated. What’s there to understand? Henry played for the fiercist rival United have had in the Ferguson era. Chelsea may be the team now and Liverpool may be the team historically but when it comes to rivalry based on two teams fighting it out for top spot for well over ten years, nothing compares to United vs Arsenal.DFuring the last ten years nobody other than that cunt Vieira has done more to hurt United and said more negative things about United as a team and organization than Thierry Henry. What Gerrard said in his book is nothing compared to the garbage dished out by Henry over the years. It’s understandable as he was a die hard full blooded Gooner. I’d expect nothing less than total hatred for us. On the other hand, when he left for Barcelona, he continued his tirade of negative comment s against Fergie and the team before the semi finals and even after they were eliminated. He just hates our guts and the thought of us signing him should be as unthinkable as Arsene Wenger being Fergie’s successor. Not because both aren’t good or qualified, but because they are bitter and hated rivals. Having said that, there has been no team in the last 20 years other than United I respect more for the way they play the game and for the skill both Henry and especially Wenger have exhibited in their different roles. I respect them greatly but I also hate them with a passion. No way do I want the enemy walking in to my team’s dressing room and taking up shop. That’s like Winston Churchill inviting Albert Speer to defect from Nazi Germany and become his personal architect and Minister of Armaments. Just total blasphemy. And yet I am a hypocrite to a point as i would welcome either Gerrard or Torres to OT with open arms. It just comes down to who you hate the most I guess.
How am I and the many other loyal fans supposed to change our way of thinking and open our hearts to such a hated rival? It’s really unfair to have to put us through that.
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@Red Diablo: Yes Levy is a great businessman. The way he handled things with poor Martin Jol last year was an absolute disgrace. I find it hard to believe any great manager with any self pride and dignity would take a job offered by him or his London counterpart Abramovich. They both have no class and even worse, they have no tact.
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@Grognard: haha grognard, you are a fan, a real supporter of the club, despite not being from england, not a glory hunter, a real fan. But for me to say i like a liverpool player is painful as the BME Olympics(google it, but i would recommend not to), i hate everything to do with club. and i wish you could come to england for the united pool match next season just to show you how much we hate them.
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Terry, Gerrard, Drogba, Wiltord and Fowler are my top five most hated players.
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article1486644.ece To know when the press are bored/have nothing to ‘report’, look for ‘articles’ like these.
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Just finished watching the Champions League final that I had recorded. Now that I didnt have the nerves and worry during the game I could fully enjoy it. Ronaldo was actually really good, Rooney and Tevez really gave Terry and Carv a hard time with their power. Vidic was amazing, didnt understand it when the game was played, cause it just seemed so usual him. But now I notived, he only lost one duel with Drogba out of 50 something. Chelski were really playing long-ball, so they need to change. The penalties were not so heart-stopping this time, but when Edwin scored I still get goosebumps. An amazing moment ofr all people connected with Manchester United FC.
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there is only one player i genuinely hate.
martin fucking keown.
chimp bastard.
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@Yorkspur: £35m…where’s that coming from? Certainly not from United…
@Beachryan: I’m more upset with Levy’s asinine comments than whether we get Berbatov or not…@JimB: I doubt this, I’ve read comments from some Spurs forum and most of them are taking Levy’s hypocrisy statements as the truth, in fact i’ve seen blogs from Spurs fans claiming United blackmailed the Norweigean site into taking the blame for those quotes(i have links if you want), most believe Levy and think Fergie is lying about not saying those things.
@Grognard: Spurs and Berbatov stand to lose a lot more than United, Spurs need to recoup their summer spending orgy, they’ll be stupid if they think Ramos will win them anything to justify their spending this season, meanwhile Berbatov will spend most of his life at a mid- table club, being a good player but having zilch when it comes to REPUTABLE medals. Berbatov is off, and i’m thinking Fergie should have a plan B or should have started seeking for one when he heard the drivel Levy said.
@Hakieran: You’re kidding right? I for one agree with Grog and i’ll be disgusted to see him in a United shirt, i can’t forget that he’s played for one of my most loathed clubs, plus he’s not the player he was at Arsenal anymore.
Honestly i can’t believe ANYONE would even take that rubbish on goal.com seriously, the article says “he said in an interview with Marca”, Fergie doesn’t give interviews to The Sun, you really think he’ll talk to football tabloid trash like Marca
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@dan(u-ol): Believe me I hate Liverpool and all it stands for but I just have a harder time despising them like I despise all Arsenal players and all Chelsea players except my beloved Ballack. Those two teams have given me reason to hate them in the last 15 years. Liverpool on the other hand have given me reasons to laugh and and feel all fuzzy inside. They are a clownish outfit and I can’t totally hate something that’s so laughable, sad and pathetic.
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@Traverse: Martin Fucking Keown would have been n my top ten. Now that’s a solid pick for anybody’s top 5 most despised fucking bastards of all time list. I also add to my top list Jon Obi Won Mikel for his continual dirty tackles. That guy is going to cripple somebody one day. I also hated David Seaman and that faggy ponytail he wore. Did that guy ever make a big save when it counted for either Arsenal or England? And finally, a player that’s fighting hard to get in to my top 10 list is Javier the Bitch Mascherano. What a fucking diva and what a baby. Not to forget what a complete muppet.
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@Rd: You know I have to say one thing that really gets me is when fans and the media get down on players like Ballack and Berbatov by calling them losers for not winning enough trophies. NEWSFLASH! Last time I heard the game was a team game and it takes 11 men on the field and a good bench to win trophies. Berbatov has never been on a really worthy side so getting down on him for not winning trophies is really wrong and unfair. Ballack has taken his national team and his club teams to every final imaginable. Even though he hasn’t won the big one, getting there has to count for something.
Also, I think when this soap opera is all finished, we will end up with Berbatov. I’m told that I am always negative but I have faith that Fergie will deliver the Bulgarian to OT before the start of the season. Levy has no real option but to sell him and United are going to be the only real team willing to spend the kind of cash it’s going to take. After all, Berbatov has worn out his welcome and Levy needs money to find his replacement. There comes a time when one must discard his pride for common and good business sense.
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@dan(u-ol): That article is truly hilarious. Why would Germany’s golden boy of the future commit career suicide by leaving a top 5 German side for a bottom of the barrel bottom feeder like Fulham? Absolute madness. He’s not going anywhere. He’s already agreed to terms with Bayern Munich but he won’t move to them until next year when either Klose or Toni or even both either retire or leave Bayern. Gomez’ future is with a top team, not a team destined for the Coca Cola League. Where do they come up with this shite? If Fulham, a complete nothing in the game was able to pull this off, it would be the transfer coup of the decade. It’s just not going to happen.
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hmm… I have great respect for Arsenal and the way that they play the game. I find it hard to hate them now like I used to. I wouldn’t mind Fabregas, Van Persie or Adebayor at United. The one person that I could never respect is Gerrard. He is easily the biggest fucking asshole in the world. His constant talk of diving ruining the game and then going out and diving multiple times and his Jedi manouveures to referees to suddenly make them change their mind.
I dont know how anybody could say that Liverpool are not our biggest rivals. I have respect for Arsenal, I despise Chelsea but I HATE Liverpool.
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There is no way any player who played at Arsenal, Liverpool or Chelsea should be welcomed to play at United, although I have to admit that I watch a lot of Arsenal games because and I think no one with the right mind would argue they play a beautiful game of football but still if Fabregas was given to us for free I would strongly reject that offer.
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@Liam: Yep respect to Arsenal for playing the game the way its meant to be played, but they along with Liverpool still rank in my top 3 hated clubs, i really hate them both, but respect Arsenal for some of Wengers signings and playing styles…
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@saudi red devil: Well, that’s a blanket statement, because if you remember, Cantona and Rio Ferdinand came from Leeds. And if you remember, when Leeds were in the Premiership, they, along with Liverpool, had the most hated of rivalries in terms of animosity. The amount of venom exchanged between fans of Liverpool, Leeds and us cannot match any of the other rivalries.
Arsenal of course, were our most worthy rivals — but that rivalry was out of mutual respect, fiesty encounters and personalities. Of course, personally I wouldn’t want to touch any member of their invincibles side even with a barge pole. Despite that, I had a certain grudging respect for Arsenal. I don’t have any sympathy for Liverpool because their fans are can be so over bearing.
At the same time, while I wouldn’t mind Torres in our team, I can’t see the likes of Carragher and Gerrard. Personally I can’t see players I find despicable at United, irrespective of clubs. Gerrard, Drogba, Henry, Carragher, Ballack (for not choosing us), Lampard, Terry, Gallas, Viera being some of them.
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Well it was just my honest opinion, and I said “should not” not would not and I mean if Fergie so decided to bring Fabregas I will welcome him and he will surely be an asset but that just shouldnt happen.
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My point is we shouldnt be feeding from our biggest rivals because that could open doors to bigger problems like them feeding from us, just imagine the newly married Rooney wants to go back to Liverpool to raise a family.
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@saudi red devil: For the sake of argument, that would be unlikely with Rooney because he’s an Everton lad.
And Liverpool isn’t all that far from Manchester.
But yes, I get your point.
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Ballack has 12 runners up medals!
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Carragher, Gerrard and mostly Fowler I hate them all to their bones, I also do agree with you guys on monkey head, hate him too!
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@RedDevil: What people forget is that he has won close to half a dozen German Bundesliga titles with Bayern, Leverkusen and Kaiserslautern and a several German Cups. So it’s not like he hasn’t won anything.
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@Grognard: I bet he remembers the ones he has lost more!
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@Traverse: I totally concur Traverse!
Fucking bastard that monkey..
But Henry too hated United’s guts.
One thing many of you guys seem to be unaware of is that 99% of french Ligue 1 players want to join Arsenal because of Wenger and Henry. And someway the french media has instilled a dislike for anything related to Manchester United because of Arse. Considering I get plenty of french footage (no, thankfully i’m not french) …
At the end of the day i feel that many french potential targets may refuse a move to united jsut because of that..
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