OK so by now many of you are sick and tired of my negative post match rants and so rather than risk infuriating you some more, let me change things a bit and inject some sarcastic humor to the proceedings. Instead of a review of the match vs Otelul, let me expose my thoughts through a mock quiz format that plainly expresses what I feel about the team of late as well as the game just completed. So without further ado, let’s begin.
Which of the following is the dullest and most boring thing presently on television?
1. BBC gardening show
2. Piers Morgan Tonight on CNN
3. Opera or Ballet
5. Any Fellini movie
7. All reality shows
8. Watching US Republican debates
9. Country Music
10. Manchester United
What are the ten things you dread the most in life?
4. Marriage & kids
5. Serious illness
6. No money
7. American Idol
8. The in-laws moving in
9. Visiting Liverpool
10. Jonny Evans starting the next match
What is fastest thing in sports?
1. Usain Bolt
2. Formula 1 car
3. Indy Car
5. Speed Skater
6. Downhill skier
8. Carlos Tevez changing teams
9. Michael Phelps
10. The flies circulating over Anderson’s head
What are ten top examples of sloppiness?
1. Dirty clothing
2. Awful body odor
3. Smelly feet
4. Messy uncombed hair
5. Clutter and dust in home
6. A filthy car full of garbage
7. A couch with old food under the cushions
8. A filthy toilet and bathtub
9. A dirty kitchen and unwashed dishes
10. Anderson’s passing
What would be less interesting than watching the present version of Manchester United play?
2. Sir Alex Ferguson’s post game interview
What would you rather be doing than tuning in to a Manchester United match?
1. Getting an enema
2. Getting a root canal treatment
3. Receiving a colonoscopy
4. Watch House Hunters and Home and Garden Television
5. Watch poker and or darts on tv
6. Watching Division 3 football
7. Going bankrupt
8. Shagging a plump ugly girl with BO.
9. Visiting an anonymous person in a cemetery
10. Tuning in to Bayern Munich match because they play nice football
Pick one from ten positives from watching the last Manchester United win vs Otelul on tv.
1. We won
2. We scored two goals
3. Watching Phil Jones play was a treat
4. Watching Dimitar Berbatov show disgust to his teammates for their lack of creativity and service
5. Staying conscious through the proceedings
6. Watching the game clock on the screen run down to nothing
7. Watching the grass grow faster than United’s attack
8. Thank God for remote controls and other games being simultaneously telecast
9. Watching Anderson getting substituted
10. Using a remote to turn the tv off
What can you predict to 100% percent accuracy?
1. The Big Bang Theory
2. The Doppler Effect
6. Liverpool players having their homes robbed
7. Arsene Wenger never buying a good player over 21 again
8. The Glazer’s collecting more millions from United through dividends
9. Jonny Evans collecting either a yellow or red card in every match he plays
10. Manchester United has zero chance of reaching this year’s Champions League Final
Well that’s it. Frankly I am sick and tired and totally fed up with the whole state of affairs. And for those of you who are fed up with me being fed up well all I can say is, TOUGH TITTIES. That wasn’t football on display today folks. That was boring drudgery and a rude dystopian view at our future unless something is done soon. Our lack of urgency, desire, imagination, and movement off and on the ball and lack of pride with no killer instinct is alarming. And those are the positives. Just a total disgrace. Otelul is the kind of team that you destroy 6-0 and pepper with 20 shots at goal. At halftime the shots at goal favored us 2 to 1. Enough said. I pity the fools who paid their hard earned money to go sit through that yawner. I also noticed thousands getting up and leaving with ten minutes left in the game. Get a clue Fergie you washed up old coot. If the game has finally passed you by then please do us all a favor and retire before you continue to destroy the great legacy you took 24 years to build before this season. Will the real Manchester United please show up or are they gone for good?
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