Showing a remarkable lack of self-awareness, not to mention a grasp of the basic laws of irony and sarcasm, Anderson has revealed that “lots of players want out” of Manchester United and not just those who, like him, have never been in contention for a starting spot this season.
United might be enduring a torrid season having fallen to their eighth defeat of the campaign on Saturday against Stoke, but being lectured by a man who completed 90 minutes just 19 times in 96 league games for the club is nothing short of ludicrous, as well as being unacceptable.
Having declared at the start of the season that he was “happy to be at the club” even if that meant be on the bench – or terrorising a nearby buffet, presumably – it has taken Anderson less than a week to fire upon his club, after he joined Fiorentina on loan in the January transfer window.
“I’m sure that lots of players want out, especially players like myself and Nani who have been in Manchester for seven or eight years,” Anderson said in an interview with the Manchester Evening News.
“Manchester United is a huge club, a club that does everything for its players but sometimes a footballer wants to leave just to experience a different way to play football, to learn something as well.”
By “learning something” we can safely assume Anderson meant “I fancied a bit of pizza, after devouring Nando’s for seven years and thought I might have a crack at stealing as a footballer in a different country” The Brazilian also admitted he hopes to make his switch to Italy permanent in the summer – hopes which are undoubtedly shared by every Red in the country.
“I am grateful to be here to try and win as many titles as I have in Manchester. Definitely I want to stay here [in Florence],” said Anderson.
“Playing in Manchester was great, it’s a prestigious club with a lot of history but I’ve been there 7 or 8 years and I’m grateful to be here to show Fiorentina what I can do and fight for a spot in the starting lineup.”
You do that, Ando, and good riddance.