Jul 14
Ronaldo’s Alligator Adventure + Cannavaro – Zola – Eriksson – Pele – Banks – Ferdinand
The Sun runs a story today that Rio Ferdinand could face a four match ban. It’s only the Sun at the moment that carries this ‘exclusive’ (that’s why they call it an exclusive, don’t they?), but one wonders why it’s taken them this long. Ferdinand lashed out after the Chelsea game, which seems like aeons ago. The part of the article that reckons that his captaincy status for England would be threatened is pure bollocks, because that would be Capello’s decision. But if he does get punished, we could be in for a rocky start to the season. Not that I lack confidence in Brown but Ferdinand has grown in stature so much that his assurance is absolutely crucial.
I am not going to cry conspiracy, because if he is found guilty then I couldn’t possibly condone it. I don’t want my players, especially the ones who are the presumed leaders in the side lose it — it shows your weakness more than anything. At the moment I’ll adopt an ‘innocent until proven guilty’ stance.
Chelsea legend, Zola thinks United blundered in letting Rossi go. And he calls him the Italian Messi. Hmm… I was a Rossi fan and was sad that we let him leave. But I guess that will be our cross to bear if he turns out half as good as Messi.
Cannavaro, Eriksson, Pele and Banks — all think Ronaldo must honour his contract. I think he should walk into a cave full of hungry alligators. Upon walking in he realises that the alligators could be a bit of a problem. To his surprise however, he sees that the alligators can speak English and that surprise turns to horror as he’s asked a question by one among the gathering:
‘So have you decided on your future yet?’, asks the one that looked like the papa gator.
‘I will let you know in two to three weeks.’
The papa alligator being visibly unimpressed asked him to be more clear or risk being torn apart.
‘It’s my dream… err… you never know… everyone knows what I want… I like ice creams… err, no sorry, that was a statement for my personal chef. You see, we are slaves and we need to memorize statements… it’s a tough life I say.’
Papa gator also being the smart one realises he isn’t going to get an answer right away so he drags him by his injured ankle deep into the cave as the boy from Madeira curses himself for forgetting to get his hair gel.
He suddenly finds himself tied to a pole and threatened to make a clear statement or risk losing a limb for every word of indecision.
‘No! No! I stay!’, he screams.
Baby gator, being the hungry one, in enthusiasm (or you could call it youthful exuberance), chewed up his left foot anyway. His left foot gone, it didn’t matter whichever club he went now, and the alligators were hungry and rather miffed that they had to wait so long for dinner. There was only one thing they could really think of now.
The casual passerby heard only shrieks — one that went, ‘I stay!’ and one that went, ‘I go!’ appearing alternately.
Note: The alligator adventure was a figment of the imagination. A poor one, no doubt — but no animals were harmed while thinking this up. It may have been inappropriate, but in the face of slow news, the mind tends to go idle, and we all know what they say about idle minds and devil’s workshops.
And with these thoughts, enjoy your Monday.
Related items from Red Rants:
- Links of the Day
- Jonny Evans: on Manchester United, Northern Ireland, Ferguson…
- Madrid Win Title | Rossi Expects Chance
- West Ham United vs Manchester United: Preview
- Ferguson: There is absolutely no patience in the world now
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Craig Mc (195)
RedDevilEddy (170)
Opti (136)
Ian (96)
Moscow is my heaven (96)
@Red Ranter: That doesn’t take from the fact that Grogs is the fastest two finger typist in the World, bar none.
He learned to type very fast during his years in university having to cram by getting term papers in before deadlines as well, many years of putting together proposals and presentations in business and for Government have made me a very fast hack typist. As I am a bit of a procrastinator, I tend to leave a lot of things to the last second so my fast typing has bailed me out many times let me tell you. But I do have my frustrations with this new iMac keyboard as it does not work as fast as my fingers. Quite often I have to read what I wrote to correct the lack of capitals due to the cap locks button not working if I hit it fast. Same thing goes with the word “I”. Very frustrating. I think I need a new keyboard.
And yes, unfortunately right now I do not have much of a life as I am waiting for back surgery so I just type away on my favorite blog.
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[steve]
You sir, have little idea of what you are talking about. Either that, or we really don’t have a clue what you are on about. I’ll safely sidestep anything you say because you need to clear your head before you tell others to stop talking from their backsides. Think it through, and come back — there is no hurry.
@Grognard:
A slight correction about Torres. Fergie didn’t buy Torres because he gave up on him after seeing Atletico sign him up for contracts every time they approached him. He became lower priority last season when we bought Anderson, Nani and Hargreaves. And when it became clear that Tevez was available added to the fact that Liverpool were prepared to splash after years of buying mediocre talent, he just gave up. Here’s the link where he says he admires the player but got fed up.
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@RedDevil: Agree with you on Nani, but Giggs is a average crosser, not great but not bad either. Thats why he tends to go for low crosses.
Evra and Brown on the other hand are terrible crossers.
Gaz Neville on the other hand is a very good crosser, better than Giggs at any rate.
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AlexOfMancunia Grognard
I will never agree but what you base your opinion that he is so great in the air. Are you saying he is as good in the air as christiano ronaldo because I have never seen him as good? Let’s be real he is not a powerful front man that’s going to bully players like drogba. Grognard like I said rooney and tevez have been learning from the best finisher ronaldo not overated donkey berbertov, What about the likes of welbeck and Campbell how are these two ever going to make it if you think buying players that dampens their progress. If it was up to you lot scholes beckham butt and the Neville bros would never broken through. Sometimes you have to not invest in the playing squad because there are players coming through thats why we have an academy and that does not pay for itself. If you want a different option you find the drogba type forward not berbertov who does bully defenders, like I said fergie as never targeted berbertov I would break the bank for Sergio aguero that’s a man utd player not berbertov.
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Guys many of you are miffed by the questioning of Ruuds importance.
He is without doub, in the footballing sense, the best striker we’ve had for the past 20 years. The problem with him is that his presence made our play one dimensional.
But true, our midfield was still in reconstruction when he played…
Would I fancy Ruud back in our team? I don’t know! I’ll tend to say yes, as I’d prefer him over Berbatov…
but really as much as I welcome Berba, his price tag does not fit well with me..
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