In a mood to use internet jargon, as the kids these days are loath to use. As it turns out, the injury monster has pwned us (another term the young ‘uns use) and we look like the hospital in Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Or is this a scene from a Monty Python sketch?

Our injury list reads like so:

Wes Brown – hamstring
Nemanja Vidic – flu
Rio Ferdinand – out indefinitely due to a myriad list of recurring injuries
O’Shea – out till January; ankle, I think
Jonny Evans – out till January (calf)
Fabio – groin
Rafael – unknown injury
Wayne Rooney – hamstring
Dimitar Berbatov – knee
Gary Neville – calf/shin
Edwin Van Der Sar – knee, recovering.
Owen Hargreaves – returned to training, but prone to injury, best termed in this internet world as WTFitis.

Considering the diverse parts of the human anatomy afflicted, it’s safe to say, with the various joints/muscles/tissues mentioned, it’s possible to build one whole footballer.

This is the list so far. We will keep you posted if more players come under the influence of the injury monster — be it liquification of the brain, or anal warts. The monster must be guffawing like all evil monsters in B-grade horror flicks or, as the kids say these days, ROTFLing its arse off.

The BBC have a wonderful little feature on Jonny Evans. [video link here] If you haven’t watched it I suggest you do.

Continue reading “Jonny Evans: on Manchester United, Northern Ireland, Ferguson…”

The international break means there will be little club news to report. But it seems some sort of groundwork is already being set in motion, with the transfer window a month and a half away.

Continue reading “Some Manuel Neuer talk + Refs’ union continue to whine”

Two things came up yesterday. Both through interviews with Portuguese players: one a current player, another a former red.

First, Nani: Continue reading “On the Nani and Ronaldo interviews…”

… whilst I write the report for the Burnley game.

1. The Republik of Mancunia interviewed Rob Smyth. Smyth, of course, is a freelancer who also writes for the Guardian. He’s a United fan, and regular readers will recall our interview with him last year (you can read that here.) I like Smyth’s willingness to speak his mind on issues concerning United and football in general.

2. United Rant takes a look at the Vidic rumours that are doing the rounds and wonders what the future holds for our defence.

3. The Guardian’s Sportblog asks about the Premiership action: “What have we learned from the Premier League’s tales of the unexpected?” I have two answers for that

• Upsets can happen. Shock. Horror.
• Hacks will open up drafts of published articles from last week, do a ‘find’ for ‘Rafa Benitez’, replace it with ‘Alex Ferguson’ and then hit publish.

4. Lawrence Donegan, of the Guardian again, looks at the Glazer influence on this summer.

Match report will follow later in the night/day, depending on where you are.

Hello there, I’m in the middle of moving house, hence there will be some minimal blogging today. I will probably be more detailed when I am well settled in my new abode — internet connectivity permitting. In the meantime, hopefully, Stephen Darwin might fill in, or even — who knows — I might swoop in when I find an idle computer with internet connection like a starved dog on a juicy bone and pen some, mostly inconsequential, words.

I had the chance to watch the Boca Juniors game but only the first half of the Bayern one. In the spirit of the underlying theme of this post I’ll go with something vacuous: I found some parts of the game encouraging and some discouraging. (I know, I told you today wasn’t the day)

Continue reading “Audi Cup: The Escapist’s Roundup”

So after completing the Asian money-making exercise leg of the pre-season, United return to Europe with a stop in Germany (Munich, in particular) to play in the Audi Cup. This ‘Cup competition’ involves United playing two matches on Wednesday and Thursday (of this week). With such a demanding schedule, I honestly hope they are in the plane to Munich, like right now.

Continue reading “United gravy train chugs back after Asian jaunt”

This has been a topic I had been meaning to touch upon for a while but haven’t until now.

Tim Rich, who seems to be The Guardian’s man accompanying the United travelling party, has been doing his share of sending postcards from the far-east. Topics covered in his daily dispatches range from describing the boredom of our poor, grossly overpaid, footballers [boo, hoo. The players have exhausted their stockpile of DVDs and can't get out of their hotel rooms. How are they ever going to survive? Cue: an idea for network executives for a pilot of 'I'm a Premier League footballer, get me out of this claustrophobic, yet plush hotel room'] to pointing us towards the 1.2 million South Korean owners of Manchester United credit cards, for the 98247th time.

Continue reading “Glazers defend Ferguson, and United’s Asian Invasion”

So the boys play another game today against the Malaysian XI to compensate for the loss of the Indonesian friendly. I wish I could look forward to it, but timezones don’t help.

Continue reading “United’s Malaysia Rematch”

Update: United cancel Indonesia visit. Club working on revised itinerary outside Indonesia.

Every now and then we get hit by news that brings us down to reality. At the time of writing, nine people were killed in bombings of two luxury hotels in Indonesia.

It’s more shocking if you realize United were scheduled to stay at the Ritz in Jakarta. The cause, people behind these attacks aren’t yet known, so we’ll have to wait for further details to be revealed.

Whether United would tour Indonesia is also up in the air.

A spokesman for the Indonesian organizers, Souraiya Farina, told AFP they had not had any information yet from the team on whether they would cancel their visit. ‘We have had no confirmation of what they might be doing and noone has indicated to us that they will cancel their visit,’ she said. ‘They may move to another hotel,’ she added, citing the Pacific Hotel as an alternative.[link]

Meanwhile, United kick off pre-season in Malaysia with a match on Saturday. We will hopefully have mini-reports of the preseason friendlies.

Travelling squad: Edwin van der Sar, Tomasz Kuszczak, Ben Foster; Jonny Evans, Patrice Evra, Rio Ferdinand, Gary Neville, Wes Brown, John O’Shea, Fabio da Silva; Nani, Zoran Tosic, Darren Fletcher, Anderson, Darron Gibson, Paul Scholes, Michael Carrick, Ryan Giggs; Michael Owen, Dimitar Berbatov, Federico Macheda, Wayne Rooney.

We will look to update this post as an when we get to hear about United’s plans to tour Indonesia. Watch this space.