Apr 26 2015

A return to where the old United died

Tag: Match Preview @ 10:59 am

98847There is such a thing as victory in defeat. It has been a long time since United fans felt anything other than utter devastation when losing a football match. The final whistle has usually been greeted by despair, despondency and dismay.

Not last week in South West London.

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Apr 17 2015

Defensive dilemma and last chance saloon

Tag: Match Preview @ 10:37 pm

Liverpool-v-Manchester-United (2)Right, after Van Gaal’s press conference it is looking more desperate than Piers Morgan’s Tinder profile. And although recent news today has revealed United’s backline to be more decimated than the homes of Iraqis after 2003, there absolutely is reason for hope this weekend.

Tomorrow’s trip to Stamford Bridge has had United fans flip flopping more than Nick Clegg on whether to let David Cameron use his mouth or his backside. But United fans have plenty of reasons to be hopeful for this weekend’s trip to London.

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Apr 12 2015

United can restore supremacy in Manchester

Tag: Match Preview @ 8:46 am

Manchester-City-v-Manchester-United-Premier-LeagueAs all 15 of Manchester City’s away support turned out to watch an impotent, lackluster and embarrassingly lazy team of mercenaries limp to defeat against Crystal Palace earlier this week you could almost feel the heat rise on the red side of Manchester.

United fans have blown the dust off the book of optimism this week, unused for so long. Like a scene in an Indiana Jones film or opening Maggie Thatcher’s coffin, the dust was almost too thick to see through.

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Mar 21 2015

Old foes do battle for a new crown

Tag: Match Preview @ 12:43 pm

Manchester-United-v-Burnley (1)Screaming, covered in non-descript fluids and struggling to adjust to the light. Manchester United appeared reborn last weekend.

Reborn in the sense that it felt like watching Manchester United, not like being forced to watch Adrien Chiles’ care worker scrub his back in the bath whilst he plays with his manhood.

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Mar 15 2015

The rat race for fourth begins

Tag: Match Preview @ 9:31 am

Tottenham Hotspur v Chelsea - Premier League
The air of unease surrounding toay’s fixture against Spurs is similar to that of using the bus.

You expect it to be bumpy, out of your control and there’s usually some gormless looking moron sat at the front smelling like urine. Harry Kane and his Spurs side will undoubtedly turn up intending to give United an equally uncomfortable experience.

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Mar 03 2015

United look to conquer the North East

Tag: Match Preview @ 6:27 pm

Wayne Rooney 2014It’s quieter than a nun’s hen party. Like some tragic episode of the Tweenies many are asking where have all the journalists gone?

Last week Van Gaal was the wrong man to lead United, the club was in permanent decline and Ryan Giggs was being stifled by his Dutch overlord.

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Feb 27 2015

Will United paper over the cracks again?

Tag: Match Preview @ 6:36 pm

JS50447094It appears this week’s theme is despair vs faith.

Either you’re willing to give Van Gaal time to build his team, bed in new players and establish a regime or you’re frothing at the mouth, grabbing torches and pitchforks, incoherently muttering about Dennis Irwin and are ready to hire the latest European manager with a floppy fringe.

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Feb 20 2015

Scalping Swans

Tag: Match Preview @ 7:57 pm

_81049768_463603240The clock ticks over to the 72nd minute. A high ball is thrown into the penalty area, thousands watch in despair as an oversized, over vilified Belgian rises higher than any other to destroy Preston North End’s dreams.

Throwing elbows, fouling two defenders and breaking hearts all over the North West, Marouane Fellaini thuds home the goal that will send Manchester United into an FA Cup quarter final.

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