May 23 2015

United and the Brucey bonus

Tag: Match Preview @ 7:51 pm

Steve_Bruce_2096496iNo one likes rolling over and having their tummies tickled quite like Steve Bruce. Ever since the United legend took over at Hull, any fixture against the Tigers has always gone down as a free three points. A Brucey bonus.

Realistically, United managers could have played Hellen Keller in net, with a back four made up of the Different Strokes cast, including Gary Coleman and still come away with a decent result.

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May 17 2015

United gunning for the third place trophy

Tag: Match Preview @ 8:59 am

Manchester+United+v+Chelsea+Premier+League+QShMn7Uk2ozlThe end of an era. A true legend will no longer grace us with his presence. The corridors of life will feel a little more hollow each week as he slowly becomes a faded memory. A truly spectacular send off for an inspiration to us all. The world is going to miss BB King.

The giants of Crystal Palace did everything they could to honour the late great King yesterday by spoiling the party for a man who has never really appreciated music.

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May 08 2015

United look to drag themselves over the finish line

Tag: Match Preview @ 6:48 pm

Manchester-United-v-Tottenham (1)As Moses came down from the hills, he held two large tablets of stone. On them were written the eleven commandments. When Moses presented these to the Israelites he felt that his work was done.

This was when one man took it upon himself to lead the world into a new light. Alan Pardew knew his time had come.

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Apr 26 2015

A return to where the old United died

Tag: Match Preview @ 10:59 am

98847There is such a thing as victory in defeat. It has been a long time since United fans felt anything other than utter devastation when losing a football match. The final whistle has usually been greeted by despair, despondency and dismay.

Not last week in South West London.

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Apr 17 2015

Defensive dilemma and last chance saloon

Tag: Match Preview @ 10:37 pm

Liverpool-v-Manchester-United (2)Right, after Van Gaal’s press conference it is looking more desperate than Piers Morgan’s Tinder profile. And although recent news today has revealed United’s backline to be more decimated than the homes of Iraqis after 2003, there absolutely is reason for hope this weekend.

Tomorrow’s trip to Stamford Bridge has had United fans flip flopping more than Nick Clegg on whether to let David Cameron use his mouth or his backside. But United fans have plenty of reasons to be hopeful for this weekend’s trip to London.

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Apr 12 2015

United can restore supremacy in Manchester

Tag: Match Preview @ 8:46 am

Manchester-City-v-Manchester-United-Premier-LeagueAs all 15 of Manchester City’s away support turned out to watch an impotent, lackluster and embarrassingly lazy team of mercenaries limp to defeat against Crystal Palace earlier this week you could almost feel the heat rise on the red side of Manchester.

United fans have blown the dust off the book of optimism this week, unused for so long. Like a scene in an Indiana Jones film or opening Maggie Thatcher’s coffin, the dust was almost too thick to see through.

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Mar 21 2015

Old foes do battle for a new crown

Tag: Match Preview @ 12:43 pm

Manchester-United-v-Burnley (1)Screaming, covered in non-descript fluids and struggling to adjust to the light. Manchester United appeared reborn last weekend.

Reborn in the sense that it felt like watching Manchester United, not like being forced to watch Adrien Chiles’ care worker scrub his back in the bath whilst he plays with his manhood.

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Mar 15 2015

The rat race for fourth begins

Tag: Match Preview @ 9:31 am

Tottenham Hotspur v Chelsea - Premier League
The air of unease surrounding toay’s fixture against Spurs is similar to that of using the bus.

You expect it to be bumpy, out of your control and there’s usually some gormless looking moron sat at the front smelling like urine. Harry Kane and his Spurs side will undoubtedly turn up intending to give United an equally uncomfortable experience.

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