Bank holiday weekend is upon us and football is already twice as drunk as your Nan. This weekend has begun with more shocks than a Guantanamo-themed birthday party.
After two defeats last season that felt like sucker punches, United will hope to put an end to their losing streak against Swansea. It won’t be easy as the outfit from Wales’ second city looks to be a side in form at the moment that is ever improving under the leadership of Gary Monk.
In a world where a grown man will hand one of the most respected managers in world football a piece of paper giving him advice on how to run one of the biggest clubs in the world it is easy to understand how atrocities happen in this world.
People really are awful.
Bryan Robson, George Best, Roy Keane. there are very few who have hit the legend status at Manchester United. Men who have graced the halls at Carrington leaving shadows of greatness and trails of awe behind them. Legacies that those who now put on the red shirt can only dream of emulating. Of course others have left their mark.
Some have left United fans with such unforgettable memories that even playing under Arsene Wenger’s concussion policy wouldn’t dash them from the mind. David De Gea has been United’s best player over the last two seasons but the club has moved on from much bigger losses and will do so once the Spaniard, inevitably, leaves Old Trafford.
While Angel Di Maria leaves United like a fart in the wind the Premier League returns like a mighty hurricane.
No longer will you have to spend time with your children, visit your parents or pretend to love your partner. Football returns to take us away from the realities of life.
Manchester United kick off the Premier League season for a second consecutive year but will be hoping for a better result than 12 months ago when Swansea City took three points away from Old Trafford in Louis van Gaal’s first match in charge.
Tottenham Hotspur are the visitors this season, thrashed 3-0 by the Red Devils in this fixture only five months ago. Mauricio Pochettino has added to his defence over the summer but their summer dealings look far inferior compared to the hosts.
Van Gaal has brought in German centurion Bastian Schweinsteiger from Bayern Munich, the highly-coveted Morgan Schneiderlin, goalscoring threat Memphis Depay, a solid right-back in Matteo Darmian and backup goalkeeper Sergio Romero – all of whom are available to make their debut on Saturday.
There were only six points between these two last season and this is arguably the most-anticipated match of the opening weekend. Manchester United look set to mount a stronger title challenge this season and are the bookmakers favourites to finish ahead of Tottenham in the league, but they will need a couple of more signings and show more consistency before they can genuinely displace Chelsea at the top of the pile.
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No one likes rolling over and having their tummies tickled quite like Steve Bruce. Ever since the United legend took over at Hull, any fixture against the Tigers has always gone down as a free three points. A Brucey bonus.
Realistically, United managers could have played Hellen Keller in net, with a back four made up of the Different Strokes cast, including Gary Coleman and still come away with a decent result.
The end of an era. A true legend will no longer grace us with his presence. The corridors of life will feel a little more hollow each week as he slowly becomes a faded memory. A truly spectacular send off for an inspiration to us all. The world is going to miss BB King.
The giants of Crystal Palace did everything they could to honour the late great King yesterday by spoiling the party for a man who has never really appreciated music.
As Moses came down from the hills, he held two large tablets of stone. On them were written the eleven commandments. When Moses presented these to the Israelites he felt that his work was done.
This was when one man took it upon himself to lead the world into a new light. Alan Pardew knew his time had come.