Dec 07
United are EPIC #FAIL, injury-wise
In a mood to use internet jargon, as the kids these days are loath to use. As it turns out, the injury monster has pwned us (another term the young ‘uns use) and we look like the hospital in Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Or is this a scene from a Monty Python sketch?
Our injury list reads like so:
Wes Brown – hamstring
Nemanja Vidic – flu
Rio Ferdinand – out indefinitely due to a myriad list of recurring injuries
O’Shea – out till January; ankle, I think
Jonny Evans – out till January (calf)
Fabio – groin
Rafael – unknown injury
Wayne Rooney – hamstring
Dimitar Berbatov – knee
Gary Neville – calf/shin
Edwin Van Der Sar – knee, recovering.
Owen Hargreaves – returned to training, but prone to injury, best termed in this internet world as WTFitis.
Considering the diverse parts of the human anatomy afflicted, it’s safe to say, with the various joints/muscles/tissues mentioned, it’s possible to build one whole footballer.
This is the list so far. We will keep you posted if more players come under the influence of the injury monster — be it liquification of the brain, or anal warts. The monster must be guffawing like all evil monsters in B-grade horror flicks or, as the kids say these days, ROTFLing its arse off.
Related items from Red Rants:
- Manchester United vs Vfl Wolfsburg: Preview
- Preview: Portsmouth v Man Utd
- Today’s Roundup: Good News from the Boss
- Betting Tip: Will Valencia score against Fulham?
- Roy Keane on leaving Manchester United
Tags: Daily Roundup
December 7th, 2009 at 20:29
Gary Neville?
December 7th, 2009 at 20:33
Add Gary Neville onto that list, Edwin VDS and technically Hargreaves has not recovered fully.
December 7th, 2009 at 20:33
Edwin?
December 7th, 2009 at 20:38
Cheers! Fixed.
December 7th, 2009 at 20:42
From last post:
Stan Collymore. Discuss.
The thick as two short planks wife beafter has taken time out from his busy dogging schedule in the Wolverhampton area to claim that the Glazers have only caused £200mil of debt, and we’ve caused £400mil of it from god knows what (he hasn’t quantified)… he’s saying that the debt is why we have no defenders (oh no, not 7 injuries) and that Fergie is going to move to a different club in the summer. Also saying that we have an over reliance on Macheda and Gibson.
If he knew any less about football he’d call it soccer, the twunt.
December 7th, 2009 at 20:49
December 7th, 2009 at 21:08
That is a serous injury list. And to think that arsenal fans only think it’s them who have to deal with injuries. That list is shocking.
December 7th, 2009 at 21:19
@Traverse: @Traverse: Looking at that injury list of ours, Collymore may just be right about Macheda and Gibson. He’s still thick though.
December 7th, 2009 at 21:40
Our injury situation is worrying. We seem to get defensive injuries every season. Surely by now our physios will have figured out a way to prevent these injuries?
As for Rooney. It is just f’ing typical. He has a reasonable run of form scoring lots of goals. Then he gets injured and you can guarantee when he comes back from injury it will take him a month to start scoring again.
Also how the hell does Berbatov get injured when we never play him?
But the biggest question is how the hell is Michael Owen not on that list? It will be good to see him get some games, although I am sure soon he will be joining our injury list.
December 7th, 2009 at 22:07
When are we going to see Mame Diouf play. I saw him a couple of games for Norway, and he is a good header of the ball, better than any of our strikers from what I have seen. Yet playing in Norway – maybe Eddi can tell us how good their defenders are in Norway league
December 7th, 2009 at 22:29
If you made a starting 11 of the players listed up, where do you think they would finish in the league? That team would be a good bet to qualify for Europe!
December 7th, 2009 at 22:52
You know what else is funny? I tore my hamstring two hours ago in training…
December 7th, 2009 at 22:56
From @Benhibbs in response to @ManUnitedYouth’s question via Twitter about Macheda not traveling.
“@ManUnitedYouth manager said he’s out for 2 weeks. Got injured v Spurs. Didn’t say what was wrong with him”
By the way, what timezone is this site in?
December 7th, 2009 at 23:13
Set to UK time, however, doesn’t account for daylight savings, as in I haven’t changed the settings.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:16
They are all leg related injuries like pulls and tears. This tells me that there is something missing in the team’s training regiment which is not there to help prepare players and prevent or at least limit these injuries from happening. So many leg related injuries is a bad sign and a real concern. If the injuries were all a variety of things, I wouldn’t be so concerned but other than Vidic having the flue and Rio’s leg problems coming from his back problem, it all seems leg pull related. That’s a training issue.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:18
@Footy4Eddy: Sorry to hear that. Have you been neglecting your post training stretching? I had a bad habit of that when I was younger and it caught up to me when I got to my 20’s.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:19
@Grognard: Now if only we had the chance to download training patches like we do to our FM game, it would be awesome.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:20
@Footy4Eddy: My I suggest horse placenta therapy.
Or if that doesn’t work, try rat piss.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:20
I am not there to see some of the injuries but certainly I believe some of these players are fit enough to play. Sometimes you just have to tape up the leg and play with some discomfort. I played an entire high school basketball season with a groin pull and played US football with tendinitis and a deep bone bruise. Hurt like hell but you suck it up and you play with pain because your team needs you. What ever happened to that kind of attitude? Nobody plays with pain anymore. The club is decimated with injuries. Guys coming back in two to three weeks need to tape themselves up and play and Vidic needs to take some medicine, wear a sweater and play, Are these players men or girlymen?
December 7th, 2009 at 23:22
@owen: What does it matter, you still won’t score?
December 7th, 2009 at 23:24
@Grognard: I think Hargreaves did that and it screwed him up in the long run. There is merit in what you’re saying but clubs these days err on caution unless it’s really necessary. Also in a world cup year, players themselves get over cautious.
Another thing we over look is football requires footwork, and skill in foot movement. One needs to be able to control the ball with feet rather than catch the ball with hands like in NFL or NBA. It’s possible to run with pain, but is it possible to control the ball effectively when in pain without being a liability to the team. I think not.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:25
@Johnsom33 & @Red Ranter
It`s not exactly my hamstring… I dunno the English word for it, but I believe that tearing your hamstring is when you tear something in your groin or in that area? Well, I`ve torn the muscle between my ancle and knee, and won`t be playing for a week or two. Really sucks…
Is that the hamstring?
December 7th, 2009 at 23:26
Maybe Evans should get his operation done on his ankle seeing as he is out. And what is it with the Da silva twins, they’re always injured. It doesn’t bode well for them in the future.
@colver: Agree, everytime he starts to play well, he gets injured.
Also read on the BBC that they’ve learnt that Evra is trying to be persuaded to play centre half, which, against Dzeko could be disastrous.
December 7th, 2009 at 23:28
@Footy4Eddy: That would be the calf. I suppose, then you should switch to mongoose jizz.
December 8th, 2009 at 0:00
@jpg: Don’t know who said this, but I remember an eminent manager/pundit who said that 9 times out of 10 its better to play a player trained in a particular position, than trying to force another one to play in one against his nature.
Agree that Evra at centre half, just doesn’t look good. He was a striker originally (at youth level), then started to make his name on the left of midfield at Monaco and finally became a LB.
Centre Back? No way.
I’d rather Oliver Gill, C.Evans, Matt James or any other kid.
December 8th, 2009 at 0:06
@Red Ranter: So I tore my calf?
That`s shit, I was just hitting my stride after we got a new coach! Oh well, gonna try the mongoose jizz. 
Just wanna be back playing as soon as possible.
December 8th, 2009 at 0:10
@Footy4Eddy: Be careful with rushing back, it’s better to miss one extra week to make sure it’s healed than to rush back before it’s ready and your injure yourself more.
December 8th, 2009 at 0:12
Elephant smegma.
December 8th, 2009 at 0:13
@Grognard: That is actually stupid. As a football player you need to think about the long run, not just the next game. That`s why sitting on the bench once in a while shouldn`t make you go balistic, instead you should think sense and realise that you may need a rest or that the next game is more vital. They want you fresh. But here we are talking long run as for the season, and injuries, which is much worse than just sitting out. I`ll use Rio, Hargreaves and even Torres as example. For Rio and Torres they tried to rush them back, make them play through the pain. Look how that went? Out for even longer, and not playing as well as they should do. We thought we could control Hargreaves` injury with medicines, but instead he needed an operation which made him unable to play for nearly 1 1/2 years. Playing a top level game while you are injured, especially when we are going into a hectic Christmas schedule, is just plain stupid. If it`s towards the end of the season, then that`s another thing. You should be able to play two or three games with a pain, your body should be able to take it. Play those three games, then have a rest or eventually an operation during the summer. But in December? No effing way!
December 8th, 2009 at 0:14
@NicoQB: Don`t make me tittyfuck that Elephant
December 8th, 2009 at 0:18
@Johnsom33: It`s winter, so I won`t be rushing back. Christmas is nearly here, so even if I would try to be back for training next week it would be for no use as it`s the final until mid-January. Just gonna rest this next week, trying not to put too much pressure on my right leg…
What`s worst is that my school is 1 hour away.
10 minute walk, 30 minutes standing on the bus, 5 minutes waiting for the tram and then 15 minutes with the tram from the centre of the city to my school. Not gonna sit between 7:30 and 8:30, just walking and standing in tight areas. THAT, my friend, is bollocks! 
December 8th, 2009 at 0:32
@Grognard: It’s Scholes tackling them all in training…..
December 8th, 2009 at 2:36
Can you imagine them playing as a B team?!!
Edwin Van Der Sar
Brown Vidic Ferdinand Evans
Rafael O’Shea Hargreaves Fabio
Rooney Berbatov
Plus a Sub!Gary Neville
December 8th, 2009 at 3:12
@Red Ranter: Hargreaves had knee tendinitis. Any kind of tendinitis needs proper rest but muscle pulls like groin, thigh and hamstring are not a problem if a good tape up job is done. My God when I remember how the great Emmitt Smith played with so many hamstring pulls and even played an entire second half and overtime in -20 weather with a separated shoulder and ran for 170 yards and 2 td’s, the fact remains, soccer players are pussies. I don’t care about caution or insurance or any of that. There comes a time when you have to suck it up for the team.
December 8th, 2009 at 3:16
@Footy4Eddy: Hamstring is the back of your thigh. Tearing it is one thing, but pulling it is no big deal and a few days rest is usually enough to help get you back to playing as long as it’s taped. Sports medicine in Europe is so far behind North America it’s laughable. Even team dressing rooms in Europe are laughable compared to the luxury and state of the art facilities in North American stadiums. All the machines and whirl pools and such. Also, the muscle between the ankle and knee is the calf muscle, not the hamstring.
December 8th, 2009 at 3:20
@NicoQB: What gets me about these players is that if it was an international week, they would make themselves available for their team. I think they need to show the same kind of enthusiasm, determination and guts when playing for their employer. Any of the players who are said to be good for the weekend better dress and play tomorrow. Three days isn’t going to make that much of a difference. They need to ask themselves if they want to play Barca now or much later.
December 8th, 2009 at 4:43
To All,
Hey guys I am HAPPY. It was a great week end with Chelsea Loose, Liverpool Draws and a great win. Nice to SEE Michael Carrick doing Rio Ferdinand
. Anyway I know I am too late to post all this but the real reason of happiness is I am got selected to work for won of the biggest Govt Sector (i.e. Govt of India owned and managed bank). And I am happy because we were almost 12000 people who appeared for the schedule of interview and only 44 got selected. I can proudly say that I am one of those 44. 
Oooohhhh life is good…..
PS. Sorry RR for the personal life talk but I am HAPPY….
December 8th, 2009 at 5:27
@ Traverse – I also believe Paul Scholes is responsible for our injuries. Well at least the ones incurred in training.
December 8th, 2009 at 5:30
Getting back to tonight s match… After looking at the kind of Injury list we have I am really thinking that we can start with something like this….
PIG
Park Carrick Fletcher Evra
Valencia Ando Scholes Gibson Obertan
Owen
I don’t how will we cope but in my mind this is the best that we can line up…..
December 8th, 2009 at 6:29
http://www.physioroom.com/news/english_premier_league/epl_injury_table.php
RR: THis states that O’Shea will be back on 12th December.
December 8th, 2009 at 6:46
@Onkar: Congratulations mate. Hope it works out for you. You see, good things do happen to good people.
December 8th, 2009 at 7:15
@Grognard: Thanks wishes bro… I really hope it will work out the way I am planning it. As, it will allow me tremendous growth opportunity personally….
Anyway, getting back to tonight I am really worried about the way it may work out today. I also agree about your point that footballers should push themselves little more than they are currently. I mean if I am not wrong Evans was playing through the pain with the help of painkillers at start of the season. Also Fletch is reportedly caring a long term injury which may end up in Operation but look at his commitment. I mean these are examples of what we say pushing your limit. Even when I used to play CRICKET I was a specialized Close in Catcher and broken finger and bruised thumb was absolutely common. Sometime I could not even use to grip the BAT while batting but still we were passionate to play on and continue.
Now, I can understand that any PRO player won’t do that, as it increases the probability of long term injury which is not good. But, just look at your team mates for fucking commitment boss I mean Evans, Fletch have already showed the way. Whats an issue VIDIC, I mean fucking FLU is keeping him out. Get out of your bed and play YOU are a Fucking Monster a Flu can’t stop you play…
Anyway having said that, I am not really optimistic about todays game. I really hope that CARRICK is doing RIO (last couple years’ immense…) after all…
NOT LOOKING GREAT THOUGH……
December 8th, 2009 at 7:23
@Grognard: How do you see we will be lined up today bro. I mean there is any time when we can really use JS PARK then its today. I really hope he is getting utilized at RB and CARRICK FLETCH are playing the CB partnership. As, I would hate to see EVRA or GILL is being asked to play against the DZECKO. It won’t be easy for them. BUt, I can trust Fletch as he won’t be easily brushed…
December 8th, 2009 at 7:25
@Grognard: BTW, nice to read that you are sounding little like an OPTI.. Isn’t it???? As for today also you are more relaxed about result then I am… Are we changing our places????
December 8th, 2009 at 8:57
Interesting article about the Man UTD DEBT position…
Manchester United refinancing is going nowhere
Link for the article……
http://www.eufootball.biz/finance/7816-manchester_united_refinancing_glazer_09.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+eufootball+(Daily+headlines)
December 8th, 2009 at 9:22
[...] hand have a number of issues, and they are mostly to do with defenders. As mentioned yesterday, we are in the midst of an almighty injury crisis. From defence to attack we are at less than half [...]
December 9th, 2009 at 15:56
Red, I’m impressed by the micro but think you are just clicking pointlessly with the left hand to boost your APM. Get yourself together! And also, with so many injuries, is it time to look at the team doctors and physical preparations?
December 9th, 2009 at 16:18
@Elliott: “micro”?