Ben Foster to Sign for Birmingham | Fergie Parsed


It’s certain now that Ben Foster will move on to Birmingham. The fee is mooted to be about £6m. The official site has also confirmed this.

Foster’s sale confirms what a lot of people thought: the manager had lost faith in the ‘keeper. I’d wish him the best, and I think he will emerge better all round at Brum.

I wish I could say he won’t be missed, but given Ferguson’s remarks, it’s worrying. He’s channelling the same mantra that took him through press conferences last summer and January. It seems he’ll be making “only one” signing at most because, apparently, the “market is very difficult.”

Granted we’ve signed Chris Smalling (who, I have high hopes for) and Javier Hernandez (who, I know absolutely nothing about), but they don’t really address our problem areas: A threadbare midfield, the lack of a world class ‘keeper, and adequate back up in the striking department. We could go on about lacking creativity on the wings, but I think that isn’t as much of a problem as the central midfield is.

Things might very well change come next May, but right now, Carrick has regressed, Scholes is hit and miss despite being one of our better midfielders. Anderson has shown little signs of improvement. Hargreaves was last reported to have walked 500 metres without discomfort.

But yes, Ferguson will tell you that he likes the balance of the squad. Gill will tell you that the debt is not a problem. Maybe your neighbour will tell you that Goldman Sachs is a company with a heart of gold.

But then you already knew this was going to happen didn’t you?

This isn’t my attempt to sound alarmist. Maybe Ferguson will buy big. Maybe Gill will start speaking the truth. Maybe your neighbour will convince you that Goldman Sachs is actually a wonderful company.

Wait, what’s this? A sideways timeline scene from LOST?

Anyway, right now, I do know this: “the market is difficult” translates to “we are broke” in common parlance.

Thank you, and good morning.

PS: I have no dealings on any personal level with Goldman Sachs. I had to pick a major firm at random, and this sprung to mind.



  1. @Shera: I’d love the lad to have a great world cup too. I got into a big debate on a portuguese website who were voting on whether Simoa or Nani should get the wing job. You all know who I voted, but Simoa has been an evergreen for Portugal, so who knows who Quiroz will pick. One thing I do know, I watched all the Portugal WC games, and at a time Nani wasn’t even in our team, he contributed the most to getting his country to the WC in Ronaldo’s absence. If Portugal had any decent strikers, Nani’s raining of balls into the box, straight onto the heads of a poor strikeforce, would have got them qualified BEFORE the last game!

  2. @Owen: 😆 😆 😆 😆 – ‘get rid of Fergie, and we will be in the championship next season ‘ 😉 🙂 .

  3. @tonymontanna4united: Bayern – I don’t agree mate 😉 😉 . If we has played full game with 11 men, we would have walloped them. However Fergie really does need to have a bit more decorum with the comments he is making about the CL final!

    Errrr somebody correct me IF I am wrong, but didn’t we win or draw all our games that Rooney didn’t play? Apart from the Chelsea game???

  4. @CraigMc: I will love to see the likes of Vida,Evra,Nani and Rooney playing in Championship than to hear some one continuously saying lie and thinking fans to be fool for last 1 year.

  5. @CraigMc: Before rafael went off we looked good value but we still conceeded the goal just before half time and second half i think my main gripe was how when rafael went off rooney came off too because of injury and we didnt bring on another striker, just decided to sit back and hold on which tbh i dont think you can do against teams of bayerns quality at that stage of the competition.
    So its ok to say we would have walloped them if rafael wasnt sent off but looking at how the 2 legs panned out i would say bayern were easily on top first leg and second leg dominated the second half.
    No doubt this was down to rafaels sending off and i cant say it was a disgraceful decision but we still cant ignore we got dominated first leg and still had 40 mins of the seconf half we should have still gone for.
    Instead though we did what we have done all to regularly and played negative shitty tactics trying to hold on which needless to say we didnt do, overall in my opinion bayern deserved to progress.

    When i mentioned we lost all the games without rooney i didnt mean literally just meant in the space of 2 weeks without him we went from going for 2 trophies to none. Rooney came off injured against bayern and missed the chelsea defeat. He came back for 45 mins in the second leg of bayern and we ended up loosing when he came off. Followed by if im remembering correctly a 0-0 bore draw to blackburn which for me ended our title chances. Not quite a loss every game i know i was exaggerating over that but the games dont lie, without rooney our challenge ended.

  6. @Red Ranter: I do write for the love of writing but even so, nobody reads it and nobody appreciates it in this age of ADD driven short attention spans. Oh look bright and shiny things. WEEEE!

    I don’t just write for myself. I enjoy writing and I enjoy being a critic but it really annoys me and gets me down when some put down my efforts and when most cannot be bothered to spend a fraction of the time to read what took me time and passion to write. Basically most bloggers are very unappreciative and lack the attention discipline to actually read something that is longer than a short paragraph. I’m a former teacher and an old school one at that, and so I find this very disturbing and rather sad. What a generation of dead heads and anti-sicial zombies we are creating. video games, Facebook, Twitter, online porn and then it’s supper time and on to bed. Do they even actually sit and read a whole book anymore? Sorry mate but this just frustrates and disappoints me to no end.

  7. @Owen: Who’s forcing you? I was hoping that what I write would interest you and spark enough passion in you to reply. Nobody is forcing you. It just hurts when nobody seems to care. The want this blog to belong to the lowest common denominator rather than assisting me in elevating into a forum for intelligent and articulate debate and commentary instead of a Twitter like sentence long chat-a-thon of verbal diarrhea and sweet nothings.

  8. @Red Ranter: I would only get rid of Fergie once new ownership came in to power. Then i would give him the royal sack over the stance and position he took with and for the Glazer family. As a manager he was superb but he still should pay for his crimes. And i do believe he is guilty of crimes against all us fans whether any of you want to believe me or not. It’s the old thing like nobody wants to believe their old man is guilt y of being a bank robber or killer. Well most are in denial over Fergie’s part in this tragic play. That’s fine, I for one am sick and tired of trying to wake the masses up, when it’s clear they prefer to sleep like programmed zombies. 🙄

  9. @Grognard: It is better to write a sentence concerning your team than to take 100 square feet area to praise cunts like Ribery and Ballack and then become upset when no one takes care of those undesired comments…
    If i am correct 3-4 days before,there was a lecture given here on sportsmanship mentioning Ribery and Ballack with not a single mention of Rafael in 2000 words long post… 👿

  10. @Grognard #184
    You like Carrick but you see nothing good in Anderson?
    I think your bias against Anderson has gotten the better of you. Personally, I see Carrick as a has-been that never-was. We’re still giving him chance to prove he is worthy of #16 jersey, he is still failing.

    I think Anderson will prove people wrong just like Shrek2.

  11. @Karl: Great joke.Nothing more.Not your comment,but Anderson.To proove you dont need 10 years.
    There is no other attacking midfielder in the world elsewhere who has scored 1 goal in 3 years.So yes,he is the best in that regard.

    What he has to prove?His every shot goes to the top stand .So he must prove that he has the ability to put one outside the ground also.How can you compare him with Carrick..Carrick was one of the better performers in our squad till last season.He is still not that bad but scapegoat and suffers due to Fergie’s desire to play him as CDM or CB.
    In short to say,Anderson is presently the worst player in whole League.Nothing more and nothing less.

  12. @Grognard: Please re-read my post, but this time show me where I put down your rants for being long? Where did I put down your grammar? Where did I attack your intellect? The only thing I said was that you can’t get mad at the readers if they aren’t interested. Do you read every article in Oprahs magazine, how about guns n ammo, or how about the fox news website? If you do then I’m impressed, but a hunch tells me you don’t. Because you don’t read that stuff doesn’t mean you have a short attention span l, it’s because you can’t possibly read everything out there so your brain picks things it likes and wants to focus on.

    I told you I find some of your long post fascinating, but not all of them. But there is nothing wrong with that, it’s impossible to please everyone everytime.

    … The day I correct someone on their grammar or sentence structure is going to be the day Satan lodges a bid for the winter olympics.

  13. @Johnsom33 – What a coincidence, I just heard Satan has lodged a bid for the Winter Olympics 😉 😆 .

  14. @Owen: I want you to find all those massive quotes about Ribery and Ballack? Your full of shit it must be coming out your ears. The fact that I like players who don’t play for United only speaks of my tolerance and liberal attitude and fairness to the others and the game. It only speaks of your closed mindedness and narrow view of life and the game. Life exists beyond OT. If you have a problem with me keep it to yourself like i keep most of my problems with you asswipe.

  15. @Karl: Carrick has scored some nice goals, shown that he has a wicked and accurate shot when he uses it and is able to make a great pass. What he doesn’t have is a quick step or mind and he clearly suffers when play too far back. Now please, for the sake of argument, please tell me what great skills Anderson has to offer other than swinging his fat ass from side to side while he dribbles and protects a ball? Seriously I’d like to know.

  16. @Johnsom33: First off I brought up my grammar and my intellect in order to make my point and my argument. I never accused you of putting those down. Secondly, I think you should go back and reread what you wrote because it doesn’t take Rhodes Scholar to understand what “read all your novels” and referring to my long “1500 word” rants as being “longwinded” means. I’m no idiot mate so do not speak to me like I’m one. Also, find me the piece where I wrote about German goalies in the 20’s.

    The fact that I take time to offer something about football and football history to a bunch of closed minded numptees who know nothing of the game that doesn’t include Manchester Utd is only indication of how sad and pathetic things truly are here and many wonder why English football is still in the dark ages. It’s due to ignorance stubbornness and an inability to learn other or accept other ideas, cultures and concepts. So I’ll remember not to bore you or any others with football facts and history that doesn’t pertain to United and the EPL. oh and yes I know this is a Man Utd blog. I never knew however that talking football in general on here was verboten. OOPS! I used a german there, Sorry. Typical Grognard. 😉

  17. @Grognard: The German keepers in the 20’s was something I made up, to illustrate something I wouldn’t be interested in. I wasn’t trying to say you did that.

    It’s just funny too me that you went thru my post and tried to find negatives. No mention of me praising you for the long post you wrote about keepers and how they stack up to one another.

    Whatever, if you want to keep on feeling sorry for yourself then be my guest. If words like “long winded” hurt your feelings and make you feel like your being insulted, then I shudder to think what happens to you when you leave the house.

  18. @Johnsom33: Come on mate. When somebody calls a persons writing long winded and like a novel he is supposed to take that as praise? Please don’t make me for a fool. It was hurtful because it pointed to me that you feel my efforts are too long and boring for your liking. So when I read that the praise you give me afterwards just feels patronizing. I am being honest with you here. I respect you but I really do not know you so I have to judge things by the way I comprehend them. Your post felt like a slap in the face then a pat on the shoulder, if you get my drift. You cannot call a persons efforts long winded and novel like and then praise the work and effort afterwards but then also poke fun at the subject matter I chose the 20’s goalkeeper remark to show contempt for posts that offer something on players or periods of time that might be important to me and to world football history but don’t always fit in the category of Man Utd news. So sue me for trying to elevate the quality and content on this blog from just the same old same old banter we have. Your comment about the German keeper in the 20’s was an exaggeration because I often wrote about German keepers of the 70’s and 80’s because I would often offer my take on the game back then in comparison to today. I guess I shouldn’t have bothered.

    And finally, I feel I am justified in feeling sorry for myself. Because what I do on this blog every day is give a great effort. And that effort clearly isn’t respected or appreciated and it’s something I am learning to and forcing myself to accept. So please forgive me if I am feeling a little sorry for myself. Perhaps if you took the time and effort I did to not only find acceptance but gain some appreciation and respect along the way, then maybe you would know just how I feel. Nobody likes getting nothing for something. And the comment about what I am like when I leave the house is just so wrong and so out of line mate. That is nothing more than another low blow and a comment that you could have done without if your intention was truly to defuse the situation. For your information, I am quite fine when I leave the house. And people and friends I know seem to have no problems with me as they continue to show their friendship, loyalty and appreciation of my efforts. But on this blog, well lets just say I often feel starved out waiting for any of those conditions to be offered.

  19. @Grognard: “Perhaps if you took the time and effort I did to not only find acceptance but gain some appreciation and respect along the way”

    Perhaps if you took the time and effort to find acceptance and respect in the real world, then you wouldn’t put so much stock into what complete strangers say on a fan blog about you.

    You need to relax, this is just entertainment.

  20. @Johnsom33: What’s with the personal digs? Seriously, you know sweet fuck all about me and my life yet you seem to have your opinion on my personality away from this blog. Not fair and very very rude on your part. I have been on this blog for three years and i have more than earned respect and made my bones and paid my dues here. This isn’t entertainment, this is communication and conversation amongst like minded people. This should be a forum where we can debate argue and joke around about the team we love. Not spending time analyzing a member’s personality on or off this site.

    You really get me. Instead of putting water on the situation you continue to throw gasoline on it. You don’t know shit about me mate. So quit with the personal digs and predictions over my life and future. I get along just fine outside of my house and thanks for your concern. 🙄 🙄

  21. @Sam Davis: @Grognard: the only things I know about you are what you told us on this blog. And so before I throw anymore “gasoline” on this joke of a situation, I’m gonna leave it alone.

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